The Laws!

1. The Law of Common Sense - Never accept a drink from a urologist.
2. The Law of Reality - Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
3. The Law of Self Sacrifice - When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
4. The Law of Volunteering - If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
5. The Law of Avoiding Oversell - When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
6. The Law of Motivation - Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
7. Boob's Law - You always find something in the last place you look.
8. Wailer's Law - Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
9. Law of Probable Dispersal - Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
10. Law of Volunteer Labor - People are always available for work in the past tense.
11. Conway's Law - In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
12. Iron Law of Distribution - Them that has, gets.
13. Law of Cybernetic Entomology - There is always one more bug.
14. Law of Drunkenness - You can't fall off the floor.
15. Heeler's Law - The first myth of management is that it exists.
16. Osborne's Law - Variables won't; constants aren't.
17. Main's Law - For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
18. Weinberg's Second Law - If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.

Some Important Laws Which Our Scientists Forgot to State!

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.