Showing posts with label Classic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Classic. Show all posts
Friday, April 09, 2010
Game of Intelligence
A blonde chick found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. Bored, the lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence (lawyers like easy prey). Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.
The blonde then asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”
The lawyer looked puzzled. He spent nearly an hour, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls, trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Golden Words are not Repeated
Love your job but don't love your Company,
Because you may not know when your company stops loving you.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM
What is the Secret of SUCCESS? "RIGHT DECISIONS"
How do you make Right Decisions? "EXPERIENCE"
How do you get Experience? "WRONG DECISIONS!"
Dr. ABDUL KALAM
Without your involvement you can't succeed.
With your involvement you can't fail.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM
You are not responsible for what people think about you.
But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.
STANLEY FERRARD
A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman.
A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.
CHARLES DICKENS
Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart.
BILL JACOBS
It's better to lose your Ego to the one you Love,
Than to lose the one you LOVE because of EGO!
JOHN KEATS
Don't make promise when you are in JOY. Don't reply when you are SAD.
Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY……. Think twice, Act wise.
Because you may not know when your company stops loving you.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM
What is the Secret of SUCCESS? "RIGHT DECISIONS"
How do you make Right Decisions? "EXPERIENCE"
How do you get Experience? "WRONG DECISIONS!"
Dr. ABDUL KALAM
Without your involvement you can't succeed.
With your involvement you can't fail.
Dr. ABDUL KALAM
You are not responsible for what people think about you.
But you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.
STANLEY FERRARD
A man is lucky if he is the first love of a Woman.
A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.
CHARLES DICKENS
Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart.
BILL JACOBS
It's better to lose your Ego to the one you Love,
Than to lose the one you LOVE because of EGO!
JOHN KEATS
Don't make promise when you are in JOY. Don't reply when you are SAD.
Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY……. Think twice, Act wise.
Some Important Laws Which Our Scientists Forgot to State!
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Three Management Lessons
LESSON NUMBER ONE
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
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LESSON NUMBER TWO
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with Nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally, after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the Tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
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LESSON NUMBER THREE
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lesson:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Virginity Test
A young man was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.
The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel..'
The man was astonished and asked, 'So what do I do with these?'
The doctor replied, 'Before the wedding night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball blue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I ever saw', you hit her head with the shovel.'.... .
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Am I A Fireman Yet?... Must Read!
In Calgary, Alberta a 26-year-old mother stared down at her 6 year old son, who was dying of terminal leukemia.
Although her heart was filled with sadness,she also had a strong feeling of determination.
Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up & fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible..
the leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son's dream to come true.
She took her son' s hand and asked,
'Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up?
Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?'
Mommy, 'I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.'
Mom smiled back and said, 'Let's see if we can make your wish come true.'
Later that day she went to her local fire
Department in Calgary , where she met
Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Alberta
She explained her son's final wish and
Asked if it might be possible
to give her 6 year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine.
Fireman Bob said, 'Look, we can do
better than that. If you'll have your son ready at seven o'clock Wednesday morning, we'll make him an honorary Fireman for the whole day.
He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards!
And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat - not a toy - one-with the emblem of the Calgary Fire Department on it, and a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots.'
'They're all manufactured right here in Calgary ,so we can get them fast.'
Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed him in his uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck.
Billy got to sit on the back of the truck
and help steer it back to the fire station.
He was in heaven.
There were three fire calls in Calgary that day and Billy got to go out on all three calls.
He rode in the different fire engines,
the Paramedic's' van, and even the fire chief's car.
He was also videotaped for the local news program.
Having his dream come true,
with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy, that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible.
One night all of his vital signs began to
drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept - that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital.
Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a Fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition.
The chief replied, 'We can do better than that. We'll be there in five minutes.. Will you please do me a favor?
When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire?'
'It's the department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?'
About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up to Billy's third floor open window--------
16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy's room
With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they LOVED him.
With His dying breath,
Billy looked up at the fire chief and said,
'Chief, am I really a fireman now?'
'Billy, you are, and The Head Chief,
Jesus, is holding your hand,' the chief said
With those words, Billy smiled and said,
'I know, He's been holding my hand all day, and The angels have been
Singing..'
He closed his eyes one last time.
Although her heart was filled with sadness,she also had a strong feeling of determination.
Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up & fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible..
the leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son's dream to come true.
She took her son' s hand and asked,
'Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up?
Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life?'
Mommy, 'I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.'
Mom smiled back and said, 'Let's see if we can make your wish come true.'
Later that day she went to her local fire
Department in Calgary , where she met
Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Alberta
She explained her son's final wish and
Asked if it might be possible
to give her 6 year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine.
Fireman Bob said, 'Look, we can do
better than that. If you'll have your son ready at seven o'clock Wednesday morning, we'll make him an honorary Fireman for the whole day.
He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards!
And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat - not a toy - one-with the emblem of the Calgary Fire Department on it, and a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots.'
'They're all manufactured right here in Calgary ,so we can get them fast.'
Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed him in his uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck.
Billy got to sit on the back of the truck
and help steer it back to the fire station.
He was in heaven.
There were three fire calls in Calgary that day and Billy got to go out on all three calls.
He rode in the different fire engines,
the Paramedic's' van, and even the fire chief's car.
He was also videotaped for the local news program.
Having his dream come true,
with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy, that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible.
One night all of his vital signs began to
drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept - that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital.
Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a Fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition.
The chief replied, 'We can do better than that. We'll be there in five minutes.. Will you please do me a favor?
When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire?'
'It's the department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?'
About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up to Billy's third floor open window--------
16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy's room
With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they LOVED him.
With His dying breath,
Billy looked up at the fire chief and said,
'Chief, am I really a fireman now?'
'Billy, you are, and The Head Chief,
Jesus, is holding your hand,' the chief said
With those words, Billy smiled and said,
'I know, He's been holding my hand all day, and The angels have been
Singing..'
He closed his eyes one last time.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Horizontal Circles Eye Trick Illusion
Here's what to do for this Optical Illusion in above Picture:
Check out these circles. After you've been looking at the picture for awhile, you'll star to think that the circles lines are actually pointing down, and are not parallel to the edges of the picture.
There's also another optical illusion going on in this picture. There really aren't any lines for the circles, it's just your eyes following the pattern.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Is this just a Watermelon or a Real Face?
So you're at your friends party, and they happen to have a table of assorted snacks
. As you walk up to the table of treats, you jump back in surprise, someone is looking at you from within the watermelon !
This isn't exactly a watermelon recipe
, however if you're having a party and serving it, why not have the artist in your group carve out your watermelon like this. Send us a pic and we'll post it to the site.
While we're on the subject... Are you curious if the watermelon is a fruit or a vegetable? Go ahead take your guess now before you read on because we are about to tell you! It is the fruit of a plant that was originally native to the southern part of Africa. However, the answer isn't definitive, because the dictionary defines a vegetable as "anything made or obtained from plants". But we're going to go with FRUIT.
It's amazing what people will do with food. One time my brother ate an entire watermelon in one sitting. It may have been a small one, but it still made him sick!
Watermelon Face Pretty Cool !
Monday, September 01, 2008
Professional Escort Services
Raves has opened up with an all new Escort Forum through which our escort requirements should be met.have'nt we always required a date to accompany us for an important occasion,well,those worries are gone now with Raves!
Raves has also created an all new Escort Directory.it that not fantastic?now we can always get an escort to help us out whenever we require their services.
They continued looking at the site and discovered the creator's blog, Confessions of a Sexy Professional Escort. Amazing. How down to earth, he thought. We could do this. We could be an escort.They are looking to fill them up with professionals in the escort industry!
At the very least, the forum mentioned escort hobby. Perhaps this would be a lucrative and enjoyable hobby?
Raves has also created an all new Escort Directory.it that not fantastic?now we can always get an escort to help us out whenever we require their services.
They continued looking at the site and discovered the creator's blog, Confessions of a Sexy Professional Escort. Amazing. How down to earth, he thought. We could do this. We could be an escort.They are looking to fill them up with professionals in the escort industry!
At the very least, the forum mentioned escort hobby. Perhaps this would be a lucrative and enjoyable hobby?
Saturday, August 30, 2008
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