Wonderfully Described Definations

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before

CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read

SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!

OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life

YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth

ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions

PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead

DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip

PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY

MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!

CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught

POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later