







Q: What's the difference between cricketers and condoms?
A: Cricketers drop the catches and condoms catches the drops.
Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and a woman?
A: Riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs, riding a woman you fix your legs & move your ass.
Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.
Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.
Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward... forward... backward... forward... backward.... forward... stop and eject.
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble
Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A teabag.
A blonde chick found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. Bored, the lawyer kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence (lawyers like easy prey). Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers he’d give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.
The blonde then asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”
The lawyer looked puzzled. He spent nearly an hour, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls, trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?”
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
Johnny was an 8-year old in remedial class. One day his teacher asked him a question. "Johnny, if there are five crows on a fence and the farmer shoots one, how many are left?". "None." comes the reply. "Sorry Johnny, but that's wrong. Think again".
"None, miss." is the reply once again.
"Could you explain please, Johnny?" asked the bemused teacher. "Okay," agrees Johnny, "he shoots one and there is blood and guts everywhere. So the others fly off terrified.".
"Well that's not exactly the answer I was looking for, the answer is four. But I do like the way you were thinking." remarked the teacher.
"Could I ask you a question, miss?" asked Johnny.
"Certainly, Johnny."
"Three woman are walking down the road. One is licking an ice lolly, one is sucking an ice lolly and the other is biting an ice lolly. Which one is married?"
The teacher ponders the question for a few moments then replies, "The one licking the ice lolly!" she answers.
"No," retorts Johnny, "the one wearing the wedding ring. But I do like the way you were thinking.".
OUCHHH!!! I am not in this game anymore…
Heyy, cant you notice the difference between football and my head?
This is ICE HOCKEY, not ICE KICKEY.
Ohh!! April F*ck..
Kick the ball with your feet, doesn't mean to kick MY BALLS!
I am going to basket the ball, don't you dare to come in the middle..
I DONT CARE, YOU ****!
What are you doing?
Is this really the game of football? I am going to change its name to FOOTHEAD.
I didn't thought will get this!