The Laws!

1. The Law of Common Sense - Never accept a drink from a urologist.
2. The Law of Reality - Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
3. The Law of Self Sacrifice - When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
4. The Law of Volunteering - If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.
5. The Law of Avoiding Oversell - When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
6. The Law of Motivation - Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
7. Boob's Law - You always find something in the last place you look.
8. Wailer's Law - Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
9. Law of Probable Dispersal - Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
10. Law of Volunteer Labor - People are always available for work in the past tense.
11. Conway's Law - In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.
12. Iron Law of Distribution - Them that has, gets.
13. Law of Cybernetic Entomology - There is always one more bug.
14. Law of Drunkenness - You can't fall off the floor.
15. Heeler's Law - The first myth of management is that it exists.
16. Osborne's Law - Variables won't; constants aren't.
17. Main's Law - For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
18. Weinberg's Second Law - If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.